Co-dependence

Drug addict in the family - CO-DEPENDENCE OF RELATIVES 

The questions must be answered "yes" or "no."

1. Are you trying to solve their problems by yourself, alone?
2. In your opinion, are you  sacrificing yourself in the hope of a cure of your child?
3. Do you tolerate the inconvenience that gives you your child?
4. Do you think that the fact that your child is an addict is to blame other people?
5. Do you have a sense of guilt because of what your child become an addict?
6. Do you try to be good for everyone?
7. Do you deny the fact that the addict is a sick man?
8. Do you give your child pocket money, knowing that he is an addict?
9. Do you have any concern about the influence of drugs on society in general?
10. Have you ever considered  using drugs to understand better the drug addict?
11. Do you have a sense of apathy, reconciliation to your fate?
12. Have you ever thought about suicide?
13. Do you often think about death, considering it as an acceptable solution of your problems?
14. Do you have any bad habits?
15. Do you feel shame of the fact that your child is suffering  addiction?
16. Do you have feelings of fear for your child?
17. Do you consider yourself as victim of circumstances?
18. Do you think that no one understands you?
19. Do you always feel confident about your own abilities?
20. Does your good attitude towards yourself depend on a good relationship with an addict?
21. Do you need approval of your actions from a drug addict?
22. Do you concentrate  all your efforts to protect the addict, to solve his problems, to alleviate his suffering?
23. Would  you put off your own hobbies, interests in sake of  hobbies and interests of  a drug addict?
24. Are you constantly worried about what the addict feels?
25. Are you ready to spend less time  with other people in sake of communicating  more with a drug addict?

Count the number of questions with the answer "yes". Quite naturally the presence of a drug addict or an alcoholic in a family makes a print  on all family members. Most of the family members who are affected by drug addiction of one of the family members give more than 5 positive responses. Exceeding the number of positive responses more than 10 shows that you begin to live someone else life – an addict's life

You may  read about co-dependency in more details.

 

ARE YOU A CO-DEPENDENT? 

Co-dependent is a person whose behavior  totally depends on another person. The meaning of life of a co-dependent is in an unsuccessful attempt to control the actions of another person.
As a rule, co-dependent people are close relatives of people suffering from alcoholism and gambling, drug addiction.
Co-dependent people have low self-esteem. They constantly feel the need to console, to save and treat other people. They are sure that they know better than anyone else in a family  how to control the events and how should behave the other members. Co-dependent people are trying to not let others be themselves and let the things happen, develop naturally. Trying to take personal control over almost uncontrollable contour only exacerbates the situation.
Usually co-dependent people are the extremely unhappy and vulnerable people, sensitive to criticism. In attempt to raise self-esteem they use pseudo-authoritarian style of communication, often resorting to threats. They shout and insult people around.
Attempts to restrict freedom and to control  behavior of other people regularly turn out unsuccessful. As a result, co-dependent relatives of the patients with drug addiction, alcoholism, compulsive gambling problems are deeply unhappy people who and do not believe in themselves. They suffer from severe depression.  Behaving  like that  they not only cannot solve their own problems, but also contribute to the progression of addiction among the family members.

POSSIBLE SIGNS OF CO-DEPENDENCY IN CASE OF DRUG ADDICTION

1. Distorted perception of the world: self-deception and denial of problem. For example, a complete denial drug addiction problem or alcoholism inside the family. You think that your child can not use drugs and  assure everybody that you have  happy family. Or are you ensure yourself that you have warm relations within the family. You think that you are always aware of what is happening with your child, although it is self-deception.

2. Your behavior is illogical. It looks like you obey to an unknown  force. For example, you suspect that your child is using drugs. You know that  he uses, for example, money for drugs instead of for lunch. Nevertheless, you continue to give him pocket money.

3. Confusion of the senses and the denial of the problem. You flatly refuse to admit that your child is using drugs, despite all the signs of addiction. Denying the existence of the drug addiction problem for your child, you do not take active steps to treat him

4. Low self-esteem, bordering with self-hatred. Realizing that your child is using drugs, you blame for this all the others. You are constantly accuse their loved ones in what happened to your child. You do not believe in our strength and possibility to cure your child and always blame yourself for that. You stopped paying attention to yourself. You stopped  wondering what to wear. You are not interested in your co-workers and their problems. You  avoid intimacy with a loved one.

5. Health disorders. You develop new diseases and the chronic ones come out. You constantly feel unwell. You quickly get tired and need  rest.

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